Journey of Worship

 There is hope.  Hope for our family provision, and to be able to give more freely.  Lord, help me to give more freely the positive words.  Words that show reverence to You, Chris, and the kids.  Break off the frustration that locks up my lungs and takes the life out of me.  Help me to do breath prayers before responding carnally.  I want to build up Chris and the kids. I want us to be a joyful family full of team players- looking out for each other, but it starts with me.  I have to be the lookout, the cheerleader that leads our family to a rally.  Lord help me to lead this team positively. Proverbs 9:13 "A foolish woman is clamorous; she is simple, and knoweth nothing." Proverbs 14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Debi Pearl, "A wise woman always receives her husband's overtures with delight, no matter how clumsy he may be.... Deference to your man is the height of true femininit...

  James 1:2-5, 12 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, [ a ]  whenever you face trials of many kinds,   3  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.   4  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.   5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 12   Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial  because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life  that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Trust and obey.  Trust and obey.  God must take away what I think my security is in to give me greater security.  Otherwise I will always cling, look back to what I know, and hold on to what has kept me in my insecurity.   Denzel Washington, "God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.... Yo...

 Wow, we haven't even experienced the extremes, but we're feeling the rumbles: tornadoes coming within a couple miles of our house: God's got more for us our family vehicle is giving us a really hard time, and my husband's car is hit- vehicle hits our car in a parking lot, so no personal damage: God's got more for us conflict within and with the kids as Chris and I double down to study for investing and multiplying for His Kingdom- trying to share time with them as the time gets more scarce- but believing the rewards are coming we find out we could receive adoption credit for our 1st child, and will be able to for our 2nd to be completed this year- more to invest or pay for that vehicle or the house addition to accommodate the kids.... encouragement to get the non-profit launched because we can be taken care of in it taking on homeschooling another year, with two in middle school and one entering kindergarten I'm so overwhelmed! These are all blessings, as I lau...

 I was asking for the wrong thing, expecting the right thing... change my circumstances, Lord, so I can be a better person, worship You with more of my life, be a better wife, a better mother.... I am not enough because my circumstances are not enough was my cry.... If you want an awakening, a revival among your people, in your situation, you must first ask yourself if you have wept over your people and their situation; for the other's pain, more than your own. As long as I see everyone else as the cause of my pain, instead of praying for God's healing over the pain they're in, I am wearing blinders instead of seeing through the eyes of God. They are all God's children, whether they're my own, the parent's of my own, or whoever I choose to turn eyes of frustration upon rather than eyes of compassion.   Where did my cry for more actually come from?  Where did the "I don't have enough, I am not enough" idea begin?  Satan whispered, "Did He reall...

 Organizing and making things happen has been a gift of mine for most of my life.  Confrontation, not a problem, though I might get intimidated.  I appreciate a mentor, someone to look up to and aspire to, as well as a strong leader- usually a man.  I like to please, and serving is usually a part of that.  Somehow this combination got really skewed in my marriage.  I came to resent all of my "jobs", and really lacked a mentor.  And then I found the book "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl.  It is a pearl of a book.  Harshly coaching me as those I remember who made me the greatest athlete; and encouraging me that I have what it takes in me because the creator did wire me for this.  I am so thankful for this book- though I sometimes want to throw it against the wall.  Or at my husband....  Both not the right answer!  Going for a walk and praying has been rewarding, however! Consider this:  God set up a chain of ...

 You knew our story before we were born.  You knew we would make choices and there would be plenty of possibilities for pain.  You also knew that through pain can come renewing, that You would always show up to offering us healing, redemption that comes with repentance, a healing that makes us stronger, not harder, and a clearer reflection of you.  I need you more.  The fast was good, followed by confirmation that I need you.  I smile now, oh Surprise of surprises!  Oh, how I need you!  The fast is not so that I can turn back to my old ways, but so that I can move forward in closer relationship with You.  Thank You, Lord, that You are an ever-patient gentleman, always ready to hold my hand on this journey. You see me already there, already the person You created me to be, having done what You created me to do.  And you are patient with my floundering ways.  Your desire is to say, "well done good and faithful servant", and You stay f...

 With great energy, I let out a whoop!  I was on my way to the Department of Human Resources to officially accept "mom" to my second daughter.  My family is officially a family of 6.  The promise of blessing through bio and adoption is complete!  Maybe it was just because I grew up as the 2nd of 4 in a boy girl boy girl order, maybe it was God's revelation, but when I accepted Christ at 8, it was soon followed by the impression that I would adopt someday.  That never left me and was confirmed over and over again.  Upon dating my husband, the spoken dream was 2 bios and 2 (or more) adopted, as God led, with the hopes that we would have boy girl boy girl order.  Wow, in His time, He made it complete.  Celebrating our 15th year of marriage, the first 7 within which we had our first 2 children, followed by 8 years of fostering with "big kids" helping us with "littles"; this is a year of promises.  The journey of celebrating and heart ache as...

 Every new day is truly a gift of grace.  I don't deserve another chance, and I'm likely to mess up again, but God says He's not done with me yet, and I'm not done with His call for me.  Yesterday I went to bed thinking, again, "tomorrow I'm going to extend more patience and grace to my kids."  Day by day, grace by grace, mercies anew as he reveals His way to me and convicts me of another way to make my walk straight.   Ephesians 2:1-3  Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins,  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil-- the commander of the powers in the unseen world.  He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature.  By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else.  4-7  But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved ...

In Hebrew,  "Aaliyah" "Aaliyah" is transliterated as "אלין" (Aliyyah). It translates to "ascent," "rising," or "going up." This word is used to describe the process of immigrating to Israel, where Jews return to their ancestral homeland. It can also refer to the calling of a member to the Torah reading during synagogue services. my understanding, and the reason I named my daughter "Aliya", is that an Aaliyah is a journey...an intentional journey to meet God. This afternoon I read "the Be-Happy Attitudes" by Robert Schuller, chapter 2.   What is my need? What have I still not laid down before him?   My Wife-ing- I'm reading "Help Mate" by Debbi Pearl. I've been trying to change my husband into what I thought a man was supposed to be. My mothering- each of my kids is unique, and fostering and now adoption has been a roller coaster- is it because I'm trying to "maintain contr...