God's grace and mercy every day, and in every moment.... so that I could live for Him.

 Every new day is truly a gift of grace.  I don't deserve another chance, and I'm likely to mess up again, but God says He's not done with me yet, and I'm not done with His call for me.  Yesterday I went to bed thinking, again, "tomorrow I'm going to extend more patience and grace to my kids."  Day by day, grace by grace, mercies anew as he reveals His way to me and convicts me of another way to make my walk straight.

  Ephesians 2:1-3  Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins,  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil-- the commander of the powers in the unseen world.  He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature.  By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else. 

4-7  But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead.  (It is only by God's grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are United with Christ Jesus.  So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of His grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are United with Christ Jesus.

8-10  God Saved you by His grace when you believed.  And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God.  Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.  For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Over 45 years ago I was in His plan, to do what He's called me to do, "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).  An easy verse to claim when I'm feeling self-righteous about making something happen.  Not so easy when I'd rather choose pleasing man, my skin, my comfort, what I think is safe.  

I'm so excited for what I feel like He's called me to, yet so scared. Scared of what, failure?  That I'll have to give something else up (if He asks me to give something up, it is in exchange for something better).  And how does He think I'm going to accomplish it anyway?  Where do I have the time?!  He knows what He's called me to... what is he telling me to let go of that I've prioritized?  What if it's actually my attitude about the daily/moment by moment things.  Approach each thing with much positive energy, and do the hardest things first... but don't let my time with the kids or my hubby be the thing that is forsaken. 

More coffee... no, less because my body is telling me I'm getting too much... Count on Him!  In all things this is the answer.  When I cry out to Him for help, that's when I'll experience miracles.  On my own I will see what I can accomplish on my own, and He will reward me for prioritizing as He convicts me to.... But it is when I call out to Him to do what I can't do on my own.  It is when I tell Him I trust Him to take the next step, or show me the next step to take.  When I give up and give in to His power.  

It's time to get the family ready for Wednesday night church.  And by the way, I'm fasting... intend to until brunch with my hubby.  Fasting for what?  To grow in trust again.  Five years ago I discovered the intimacy of fasting: the internal, external healing of trusting God.  Probably the last time I fasted was before adopting our son a little less than 2 years ago.  Since then I've told God I had way too much going on to handle not eating....  I have crumbled so much.  It is not by my strength.... So God help me to hold this fast and the precious time growing with You.  Trusting You for all the power I need.  Thank you Lord.