Dedicated with Joy

 With great energy, I let out a whoop!  I was on my way to the Department of Human Resources to officially accept "mom" to my second daughter.  My family is officially a family of 6.  The promise of blessing through bio and adoption has come to fruition!  God made it happen just as I had imagined- I didn't get to pick it.  I must continue to trust Him through this.  

Maybe it was just because I grew up as the 2nd of 4 in a boy girl boy girl order, maybe it was God's revelation, but when I accepted Christ at 8, it was soon followed by the impression that I would adopt someday.  That never left me and was confirmed over and over again.  Upon dating my husband, the spoken dream was 2 bios and 2 (or more) adopted, as God led, with the hopes that we would have boy girl boy girl order.  Wow, in His time, He made it complete.  Celebrating our 15th year of marriage, the first 7 within which we had our first 2 children, followed by 8 years of fostering with "big kids" helping us with "littles"; this is a year of promises.  The journey of celebrating and heart ache as families were reunited or we saw a child move on, is coming to a fork as we are now closing on our 2nd adoption with sweet tears and anticipation.   

We are looking forward to the years of bonding ahead, though the great responsibility of breaking generation cycles is weighty.  We must cling to God's strength, promises, and grace.  We need community, and we are excited for how God would also use to help others along their journey.  As I reflect, I shed tears for this, now the 3rd loss that we know of for this momma, and for the daddies: for the hopes and God's original intent for family that is broken.  Yet there is sweet joy for the celebration of redemption, restoration in a new way as now 2 of her children are able to bond to us, a family that is committed to love them through tantrums and victories.

This morning I read "Hinds feet in High Places", and the revelation is so timely:  "Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to God's will, can be transformed."  He is the God  of transforming hearts.  He continues to take mine, at my submission, and transform it to look more and more like His.  It is His desire to transform me (acknowledged- I need it), change atmospheres, and through me -impact others.  The greatest lessons are learned through tribulation:  A  hard fall followed by an epiphany, a drastic change in a positive direction, the dopamine that paves the new route as we celebrate a victory.  He wired us this way.  He wants us to be image-bearers: seeing the beauty before the transformation and loving through it.  

So you, Lord, a great Heavenly Father, beyond my understanding or comprehension of the word "great" or name "Heavenly Father", purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the suffering in this world that You want changed.  You created me- in your image- to be a transformer: where sin, sorrow, and suffering abound, I must let You teach me how to react.  Your desire is for good, and I am Your servant, so that out of these- and me- the lovely qualities You desire in life will abound.  I will become your likeness: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control in their world.  That is really the only satisfactory way of dealing with evil. Not simply binding it (squashing feelings or temptations, avoiding it or rejecting it), so that it cannot work out it's harm, but reacting with good:  love for the person.  Lord, teach me to delight in these children through all the stages, as you delight in me.  Help me to teach them Your law, Your character, so that they would delight in You and live a long and rewarding life.