Revival that starts in me

 I was asking for the wrong thing, expecting the right thing... change my circumstances, Lord, so I can be a better person, worship You with more of my life, be a better wife, a better mother.... I am not enough because my circumstances are not enough was my cry....

If you want an awakening, a revival among your people, in your situation, you must first ask yourself if you have wept over your people and their situation; for the other's pain, more than your own. As long as I see everyone else as the cause of my pain, instead of praying for God's healing over the pain they're in, I am wearing blinders instead of seeing through the eyes of God. They are all God's children, whether they're my own, the parent's of my own, or whoever I choose to turn eyes of frustration upon rather than eyes of compassion.  

Where did my cry for more actually come from?  Where did the "I don't have enough, I am not enough" idea begin?  Satan whispered, "Did He really say you can't have that... perhaps then, He is holding back....He knows that your eyes will be opened... and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil" (Gen 3 paraphrased).  I think I know, and therefore I judge, and my judgement is backed by Satan's, "You'll never have enough, you'll never be enough..."

But that's not God's whisper over me

I need your love like I need water.... Now I know differently.... 

Psalm 23.  

You are my shepherd, you hear my every cry, and your desire is that I would trust you... trust you:

As my shepherd, You have all I need, and it is all waiting for me to just realize you're there with abundant love.  A Love that really does heal all things.  

Your desire is for me to recognize that You have already provided the green meadows, and that my rest is when I'm doing Your will.  There will be no more of the conflict within that is greater than any exterior opposition when I am living closer to you.It is then that I will experience the peace of gentle streams.  I love being by flowing water, there is an infinite-ness about a stream, an ocean continuing to surge onto the beach.  You will continue to provide.  There is enough for life, and life abundant.

I am willing to be shaped in private so that my words would have the power that is Yours in public.  I am willing to go to be alone an unattractive places where you will pull me closer and prepare me.  I am willing to land hard in the valley that I might testify on the mountains.  

Charles Finney said, "Revival is nothing more than a new beginning of obedience to God."  

Lord, a new beginning in me.  Yes, you will shift atmospheres because I trusted you to shift me first.  Thank You Lord.