Journey of Worship

 Man, how I got it wrong.... Lord, thank you for showing me the Way! I thought I was so spiritual, so connected to God, a real prize for any man.  And this was the man God chose for me.  I could easily see his flaws, I heard God tell me to treat him like a brother... I would try to be gentle and loving, but firm in telling him what he needed to improve on, and that by the way, he needed to pursue me and love me better.  I deserved it.  Didn't he notice what a prize he had?  Ouch, how I tormented him and expected him to treat me better to no avail.  I had the "revelation" as I read that I was to be the manager of the home, that I was managing him.  No man falls in love with his critical manager.   Show him reverence.  A man will allow his woman many, many faults, as long as he knows that she thinks he is great.     +look into his face with adoration     +thankful to him for loving me     +grateful for th...

 There is hope.  Hope for our family provision, and to be able to give more freely.  Lord, help me to give more freely the positive words.  Words that show reverence to You, Chris, and the kids.  Break off the frustration that locks up my lungs and takes the life out of me.  Help me to do breath prayers before responding carnally.  I want to build up Chris and the kids. I want us to be a joyful family full of team players- looking out for each other, but it starts with me.  I have to be the lookout, the cheerleader that leads our family to a rally.  Lord help me to lead this team positively. Proverbs 9:13 "A foolish woman is clamorous; she is simple, and knoweth nothing." Proverbs 14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Debi Pearl, "A wise woman always receives her husband's overtures with delight, no matter how clumsy he may be.... Deference to your man is the height of true femininit...

  James 1:2-5, 12 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, [ a ]  whenever you face trials of many kinds,   3  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.   4  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.   5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 12   Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial  because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life  that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Trust and obey.  Trust and obey.  God must take away what I think my security is in to give me greater security.  Otherwise I will always cling, look back to what I know, and hold on to what has kept me in my insecurity.   Denzel Washington, "God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.... Yo...

 Wow, we haven't even experienced the extremes, but we're feeling the rumbles: tornadoes coming within a couple miles of our house: God's got more for us our family vehicle is giving us a really hard time, and my husband's car is hit- vehicle hits our car in a parking lot, so no personal damage: God's got more for us conflict within and with the kids as Chris and I double down to study for investing and multiplying for His Kingdom- trying to share time with them as the time gets more scarce- but believing the rewards are coming we find out we could receive adoption credit for our 1st child, and will be able to for our 2nd to be completed this year- more to invest or pay for that vehicle or the house addition to accommodate the kids.... encouragement to get the non-profit launched because we can be taken care of in it taking on homeschooling another year, with two in middle school and one entering kindergarten I'm so overwhelmed! These are all blessings, as I lau...

 I was asking for the wrong thing, expecting the right thing... change my circumstances, Lord, so I can be a better person, worship You with more of my life, be a better wife, a better mother.... I am not enough because my circumstances are not enough was my cry.... If you want an awakening, a revival among your people, in your situation, you must first ask yourself if you have wept over your people and their situation; for the other's pain, more than your own. As long as I see everyone else as the cause of my pain, instead of praying for God's healing over the pain they're in, I am wearing blinders instead of seeing through the eyes of God. They are all God's children, whether they're my own, the parent's of my own, or whoever I choose to turn eyes of frustration upon rather than eyes of compassion.   Where did my cry for more actually come from?  Where did the "I don't have enough, I am not enough" idea begin?  Satan whispered, "Did He reall...

 Organizing and making things happen has been a gift of mine for most of my life.  Confrontation, not a problem, though I might get intimidated.  I appreciate a mentor, someone to look up to and aspire to, as well as a strong leader- usually a man.  I like to please, and serving is usually a part of that.  Somehow this combination got really skewed in my marriage.  I came to resent all of my "jobs", and really lacked a mentor.  And then I found the book "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl.  It is a pearl of a book.  Harshly coaching me as those I remember who made me the greatest athlete; and encouraging me that I have what it takes in me because the creator did wire me for this.  I am so thankful for this book- though I sometimes want to throw it against the wall.  Or at my husband....  Both not the right answer!  Going for a walk and praying has been rewarding, however! Consider this:  God set up a chain of ...

 You knew our story before we were born.  You knew we would make choices and there would be plenty of possibilities for pain.  You also knew that through pain can come renewing, that You would always show up to offering us healing, redemption that comes with repentance, a healing that makes us stronger, not harder, and a clearer reflection of you.  I need you more.  The fast was good, followed by confirmation that I need you.  I smile now, oh Surprise of surprises!  Oh, how I need you!  The fast is not so that I can turn back to my old ways, but so that I can move forward in closer relationship with You.  Thank You, Lord, that You are an ever-patient gentleman, always ready to hold my hand on this journey. You see me already there, already the person You created me to be, having done what You created me to do.  And you are patient with my floundering ways.  Your desire is to say, "well done good and faithful servant", and You stay f...