A thorough examination of the heart post (or pre) adoption

Have you ever gone to the store and bought something lavish, taken it home, regretted it, and couldn't return it?  Some form of buyers remorse comes over you and there's a panic....what am I going to do with this, what was I thinking, I can't buy something else now, oh it's all ruined....  Truth be told, I have done that and then tried to justify by thinking of someone I could gift the item to, maybe I didn't know that I had really bought it to bless someone else, right?!  

I must confess that I've had those thoughts with my spouse and with my children, and I must immediately lay them at God's feet, and say I trust Him, I believe what He said when He brought me into this relationship, and I will see it through.  Further, the seeing it through, means, that I will not come at them with a pick-axe trying to form them into what I think would be a better fit for me, but that I would allow God to change me to be a better fit for them, a better mom, a better wife, a better reflection of Him.

Adoption is a risk we take, a laying down of ourselves on the Surgeons' table, saying, "I know I'm not perfect for this, but I trust You to bring me here again and again and take out what is not of You." It's trusting that God not only has us, but has this child that He brought to us, and He has work to do on both of us.  It is believing in God's sovereignty.  

It's believing in God's provisions.  When we consider all that adoption means, it's a heavy load, a great life-time commitment.  If you have biological children, now you are splitting up the inheritance you may have intended for them.  This might be a big consideration for foster parents faced with adoption.  Not only are funds cut, but the future you intended to pass on to your biological children will now be split.  

I encourage you, God gives back to the giver, live generously and HE will multiply:  Pressed down and running over.  What you may have thought you were leaving for your children, surrender to Him, ask how He wants you to use it, and be open to where He tells you to invest and how he tells you to save and be generous.

Have you ever considered the investment God made in you?  He did not say, "When these people actually start walking in covenant, then I will forgive them."  He did not say, "when you are in perfect obedience to me, then I will offer you My inheritance."  He did not say, "when I know that you are a perfect fit for My family, and that you will not disgrace my name, then I will adopt you."  He did not say any of these things or any other if's.  He sacrificed Jesus, His own son, once for all, knowing that all would fall to temptation, that all would be redeemed, even though our redemption would still be flawed by our own self control.

Do any of these conflicts of interest sound familiar to you?  Yes, we could easily list off the sins of our children, especially those who came to us after exposure to a sinful and broken world.  But we are in Christ, and His forgiveness for us is for us to extend to our children again and again and watch the process of sanctification happen in them as we continue to offer ourselves up to Him.

Could some of the financial unrest your feeling actually be because you're still struggling to give everything that you are, everything that you have to God, and allow Him to show you how to pour out what is His in the first place to your kids?  Just a question.  It's a question I have to ask myself.  Are my fears of losing, of being hurt, of not having enough or not being enough keeping me from God's fullness and blessings?

Just as when we entered the biblical covenant of marriage, we spoke the promises of "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, through all the trials and tribulations of life, I will choose you to be my spouse," so we do with our children, and so we do in our relationship with God.  It is through those ups and downs of life experienced together, with an unwavering commitment to press in and trust each other, that the bond of marriage will grow stronger and stronger.  

So it is with these kids.  If we hold back, we don't allow the suturing that needs to happen for us to be bonded.  And so it is in our relationship with God.  When we trust Him in the face of the storms of our life, trust that He will protect, provide, and prevail, we extend our hand to His outreached one and say, "yes, I'll walk this with you."  In that walk we experience the "bosom of God," being held, His words of comfort being spoken over us, and encouragement that He has more for us.  We must have faith to exercise trust, and when we do, our relationship grows, because He will never let us down.  We must do the same thing with our kids.