Discreet in all she does

 Being discreet seems to be exactly my sin. What exactly does discreet mean?  To be "careful and circumspect in one's speech or actions, especially in order to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage." Another translation says it this way, "prudent, wise in avoiding error and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; courteous, polite, honest dealings."

Titus 2:4-5 "that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children to be discreet..."

 Chapter 18.... well, and it's not my only one, but that for sure described the struggle Sunday, and what continues to rear it's head.  I think Chris needs to be reminded, directed, pushed.  He, at times, has told me he needs me to do this, so I'm actually quite confused, other than, maybe it's the spirit that these actions come out of: distrust, not thinking he's courageous, committed, convicted, Christian.... a lot of things-enough.  That he is lacking and therefore needs me to help him be the man I, we, need him to be.  I question, don't trust, think I need to express my opinion, and control outcomes.  Hmmm, sounds about right, I'm judging him and finding him lacking: not the right way of God.  

Lord, I need you so much to break and remake me.  I really do.  Rewrite my reactions in my mind so that my actions would be more discreet.  Lord, help me to have kind words, not exasperation, towards Chris and each of my kids.  Help me to enjoy them all. I know that my words can color Chris and others' perspective of themselves: damaging or giving life.  Lord, help me to have words that would subtly/ or radically, move our family to the positive: Joy!

Oh, this is what we have longed for!  Our "word" in 2024.  And yet we did not entirely know how to find it.  Joy is in obedience, and it starts with me.  No, I am not absolutely responsible for other's joy, but I impact those around me, and joy starts with me thinking, acting and reacting in accordance with God.  What is God's accord?  The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith meekness, temperance, against which there is no law (can be no conflict). Galatians 5:22-23

How about Corinthians? I think there are a lot of parallels here:  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. IT always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.

If I want to get love and joy, I must know and live in obedience to God's characteristics: it is not about getting, but rather about giving. This is an imperfect comparison, by my own flaws of understanding, but consider, to get love and joy:

Holy Spirit fruit	Greater gift of love (Holy Spirit Gift)
love
joy
peace	doesn't envy
patience/ forbearance, long-suffering	patient, keeps no record or wrong
gentleness	not easily angered
kindness	kind
goodness	doesn't delight in evil, but rejoices with truth
faithfulness	always protects, trust, hopes, perseveres, never fails
meekness	doesn't boast, isn't proud
temperance/self-control	isn't rude, self-seeking, or easily angered

I have gotten so irritated with Chris, but could never accuse him of acting counter to these characteristics.  And yet I did not feel love or joy.  I cannot feel it if I am not embodying it.  Lord, forgive me for the bitterness that I have worn instead.  I have spoken in the tongue of men and have attempted to speak in the tongue of angels, or claimed Holy Spirit communication, but my fruit did not bear resemblance of actually being in-tune with the Holy Spirit.  Lord, you are getting a hold of me.  For your glory, and to multiply for your kingdom. Lord, use me to help other ready women.  I cannot cast where the fish are not willing and expect bounty, Lord help me not to judge or offer pearls to swine.  You know those You want to connect me with, and I know I need to be prepared!

"Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands" Proverbs 14:1.  

A wise woman doesn't attempt to blatantly or through feigned questions instruct her husband.  Her questions will be sincere inquiries concerning his will.  

I will not question Chris's intentions, but rather inquire on how I can accommodate them.  How can I be of assistance, help him be successful?  These are the much greater, more valuable questions for the success of our marriage, family, and future in every way.  

Thank you, Lord, for revealing this to me!  And for the allegory of a potter and clay....oh how I have been resistant.  I won't fight you anymore.  Thank you, Lord, that it is okay for me to want to cast off all that I have been to be more like you.  That even though yesterday I felt awfully like I just needed to be thrown away, you know that you can still re-make me.  Thank you, Lord.